it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
