so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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