what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
