She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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