Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
