This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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