Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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