sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
