Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
