i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
