I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
