NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
