I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
