After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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