She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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