Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
