I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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