Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Come see our sink grown plant.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
