so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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