what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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