some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
