Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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