I'm drive I can fine osifer
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
