you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i barfeds in our rink
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize