we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
