and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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