is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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