Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
