I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
