he wants to bone in the snuggie
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
