Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
