I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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