Yo dont text me then not text me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
