Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
