R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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