but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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