Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize