I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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