I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
