This girl is more easily done than said...
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
