You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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