Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
