i jhust puked up my retainher.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize