It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
