So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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