I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
