Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
