the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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