i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
