I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
