my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
