grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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