Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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