love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
