He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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