wakey wakey hands off snakey
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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