so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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