How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
