It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
