do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sarcasm needs its own font
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am available for nakedness
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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