I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
